“So this is how it works…”

You’re young until you’re not
You love until you don’t
You try until you can’t
You laugh until you cry
You cry until you laugh
And everyone must breathe
Until their dying breath…

This is a dive into a sun-bathed lake – unsure of the depth, but comforted by the familiarity of the warm water.

I haven’t blogged in a serious tone or really, much at all, since I was in college. I am still surprised that I was a student almost two years a go, and I am no longer (though I am aiming to change that). I have finally moved myself forward from the frantic heartache of 2013. I am standing on sturdy ground in 2014. It’s time to keep going : )

As of now, this ‘blog’ has no purpose other than somewhere for me to write frequently and showcase my thoughts. Mostly, I just missed writing.

I have felt like a powerhouse these past few days. I have been kicking butt at work, keeping myself happy, spending time with a certain someone, not sleeping, eating well, and even finding the time to work out? I know, it’s a shock to me too.

It’s at times like these, when I feel confident, powerful, and sure of myself, that I look at the people I feel envy towards. I notice the shiny parts are a little dull and that the magic that flows from their fingertips took a few agonizing days to come together. They’re not better off than I am in life – though it feels like they are because their clothes fit nicely and they can live at home. I know everyone struggles – they lose their job, get a blister, pay their rent even though they want to go to the bar, or just simply are unhappy inside – but it is the people who effortlessly keep a smile on their face, despite their inner turmoil, that mystify me.

Jealousy isn’t a bug that hits often, but I definitely have felt overwhelmed by the successes of others and stuck wondering, “Where is my piece of the pie?” The biggest challenge is overcoming that and being confident in yourself, as well as striving to do better! Bouts of jealousy motivate me to worry less and be more like these people because I admire them and strive to be more like them. This Levo League article really helped me focus in on my struggles.

When I am down, I take the time to recollect and think of my talents and my great job. I have a lot going for me, and though I desire to do more with myself, I have no where to go but to the stars.


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